Printed when you order, shipped anywhere in the US. Our jokes are non-refundable.

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Bella+Canvas 3001 · Unisex tee

No Thoughts. Just Crimes. Tee

$27.99

S–XL $27.99 · 2XL–3XL $30.99 · Shipping calculated at checkout

Knocked it off the counter. Again. Big round eyes. Not a single thought behind them. And yet, somehow, everything is on the floor. This one's for the small, adorable criminal who runs your house: the cup off the counter, the 3 AM zoomies, full eye contact the whole time. Innocent face, long record, zero remorse, all purrs.

Color: Black (Dark · off-white ink)

This design comes on dark shirts only, printed in off-white ink. Black and Dark Grey Heather are both available; pick yours at checkout.

Size

Size here updates the price shown; you pick your size at checkout. Size chart · Not sure? Size up. Shirts can't be returned, regret can.

Buy on our Shopify store · Dark

Made to order: printed just for you, like a custom groan. Misprints reprinted on us within 30 days. US shipping cost shown at checkout.

New ink colors, coming soon

Same art, same size and spot, new ink. Previews only: these aren't for sale yet and aren't in the color picker above. Shirt colors shown are examples.

Details
  • Who it's for: Cat people living with a tiny, fuzzy repeat offender.
  • Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex jersey tee: soft, lightweight, retail fit. True to size for most people; size up for a roomier fit.
  • Sizes S–3XL. Dark only: Black or Dark Grey Heather (you pick the color at checkout).
  • Direct-to-garment print, so the ink soaks in instead of sitting on top like a sticker.
  • Made to order: printed after you buy, usually 2–5 business days before it ships.
  • Ships to US addresses with tracking; the cost is shown at checkout.
Size chart
Bella+Canvas 3001 size chart in inches
SizeWidth (in)Length (in)Price
S1828$27.99
M2029$27.99
L2230$27.99
XL2431$27.99
2XL2632$30.99
3XL2833$30.99

Measured flat: width across the chest armpit to armpit, length from the top of the shoulder to the hem. Measurements are approximate (±1 in).

Care

Wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low. Don't iron the print. Treat it like you treat the joke: gently, and often.

Shipping & misprints

Printed in about 2–5 business days, then usually 3–5 business days in transit within the US, with tracking. If it arrives misprinted or damaged, email a photo to [email protected] within 30 days of delivery and we'll reprint it free. We can't take returns for change of mind or wrong size. Full policy.